Product Review: Arbor Mist

lately, short walks in our neighborhood have been getting grrl monster and i into some trouble. on monday night we decided to go for a little stroll and a bite to eat. By the time everything was said and done, we had split two bottles of wine, three maker's marks on the rocks (ok, so i drank most of them) and two beers. last night, a jaunt to CVS brought us to our local liquor store.

since we hadnt actually planned on going there, we were sort of scatterbrained and unsure what to buy. luckily, the guy that works there is a total doll and is always happy to help us figure out what we want. "I dont know why you guys always act like you dont know what you are going to get, you always just end up with a bottle of whiskey." he joked.

but this is not whiskey weather. its not even beer weather. there is only one antidote for shitty rainy days in the summer time, and it is arbor mist. i choose the island fruits pinot grigio and the blackberry merlot, you know, so we could be really classy and have a red and a white option. our babeilicious purveyor had this excellent advice, "when i throw a party i always buy this stuff and put it in those silver party bags with ribbons so people cant tell what it is. everyone is like: oooooh this is so delicious, because they dont know what it is. if they knew it was arbor mist they'd think it was gross. but its not. its good. serve it with ice cubes. its perfect."

the people over at AM agree. their tasting notes from the website explain: Exotic Fruits White Zinfandel: Classic White Zinfandel meets tangy raspberry, lime and plum. Refreshing and light, a perfect blend of naturally tart fruit and semi-dry wine flavors. This flavor is best served chilled. Actually, they strongly encourage chilling all of their varietals...

as we drank grrl monster curled her lip and commented "oooh this really is too sweet. maybe i only like the merlot one. this is like drinking candy" but i could barely hear hear because i had drank half the bottle and was already transported to whatever magical tropical island it is where the pinot grigio island fruits grow, fully ignoring the police sirens and relative humidity that can make summer times in our fair city less than enjoyable.

conclusion: arbor mists are the most delicious of guilty pleasures and taste best with frozen pizzas or chips directly from the bag. they are incredibly sweet, so pretend you are actually drinking candy, not wine. also, if you have a tub, i will say that they most relaxing and enjoyable thing to do, ever, is to take a bath and drink an entire bottle, from the bottle.

also, i highly recommend google-imaging arbor mist if you love to see pictures of women in sweats alone in the kitchen chugging from the bottle and/or sorority girls pregaming for formals. this beverage is THE beverage for people who suck at life and are proud of it.