ranch dressing porn

there is a really nice little ranch dressing glamor shot on Vice's "do" list. as you might know, our own little blog was lovingly conceived during a three day pizza, ranch dressing, and beer bender so pop culture references to the king of the condiments always sort of warm our hearts.

responsible banking

bank of america avaliable balance: $5.74
pack of cigarettes at the corner store 2 am friday morning: $5.79
overdrawing your bank account by 5 cents: priceless

actual contents of an actual trash can

no commentary required

gross

$40 dollars a day

i am the rachel ray of sucking at life. it was 8:45 saturday night and i had less than $40 to split between two people, but i still managed to concoct a totally decent pregame party. twizzlers and beers for dinner, jack daniels to pour into the pepsi bottle and sneak into the bar. the twizzlers also made perfect late night munchies and breakfast as well.

two drunks one cup

two straws, one pitcher. you might not be able to tell, because this bar wasnt exactly lit for glamor shots, but thats a pitcher with 2 straws, which is mathematically the most efficient and fare way to share a pitcher. duh. bonus suck at life points because the people drinking this beer had a combined fortune of $5.78 (savings included) between them so that blueberry beer was purchased with money borrowed from parents, which is the most efficient and enjoyable way to enjoy beer. duh.

high class glass

sooo we save glass jars and drink from them. reduce, reuse, recycle i say! "but it makes me feel like a redneck!" some of my guests say. well, here you go, snobby friends that prefer to drink from a real glass intended for drinking: target now sells fake jars intended for drinking. im really happy that there's some misguided shopaholic yuppy lady buying these and making her friends drink lemonade from them. and im also really sad because this is ridiculous. oh, the simulacra!